Category: Movies

The Review: Conan (2011)

Posted on by

Conan (2011)

The Pitch: “Let’s remake the John Milius/Arnold Schwarzenegger cult classic Conan the Barbarian!”

The Tagline: “Enter an age undreamed of.“

The Story: Conan, born on a battlefield, who became a warrior as a child, gets the opportunity as an adult, to get vengeance against the man who murdered his father.

The Good: Not much really. Jason Momoa shows promise as Conan, but is let down by a really bad script. There is plenty of action (the best two scenes being Conan as a youth fighting four savages, and then as an adult fighting sand warriors) but just don’t think too hard about what takes place before and after.

The Bad: The script is bad. Things happen just because they need to without regard to logic, continuity or common sense. Perhaps the only thing worse than the script is Ron Perlman’s beard.

The Ugly: Did I mention the script? Ron Perlman’s beard?

The Rating: D

Z-View: “Savages”

Posted on by

The Pitch: “Let’s get a name director, a first-rate cast and film an adaptation of Don Winslow’s Savages.”

The Overview: Ben (a pacifist) and Chon (ex-military) are best friends who share a thriving marijuana business and a woman named Ophelia.  The relationship works as well as their multi-million dollar pot business.  All is paradise until a brutal Mexican cartel (is that redundant?) decides to move in on their pot trade.  When Ben and Chon refuse their offer, the cartel kidnaps Ophelia.  Nothing will stop Ben and Chon from getting her back.

The Good: The novel by Don Winslow provides a solid foundation.  The screenplay by Shane Salerno, Don Winslow and Olver Stone isn’t afraid to make changes to the great source material.  The cast: Taylor Kitsch, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively, and Salma Hayek are excellent in their roles.  Benicio Del Toro and John Travolta are as well, and own almost every scene they’re in.  Oliver Stone delivers.

The Bad: The things that happen to folks that mess with a Mexican cartel.  Don’t mess with a Mexican cartel.  (Sounds like a commericial for direct tv, doesn’t it?)

The Ugly: Keep an eye out for what happens when “traitors” are bull-whipped.  Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

Rating:

Mike Torrance Draws Rocky 4 Me

Posted on by

Mike Torrance aka The Krayola Kidd makes a return visit with his patriotic Rocky 4 card drawn for July 4th. I was one of the proud winners of Mike’s recent Free Sketchcard Day and requested Rocky. What you see is the result of that request.

You can see more of Mike’s art at The Daily Sketch with The Krayola Kidd (and if you’ve never checked out Mike’s site, you ought to if only to see his Walking Dead cards!) and his Deviant Art site. Mike is available for commissions and his prices are very reasonable.


Don’t Ever Cross Alex Cross

Posted on by

Tyler Perry as Alex Cross?  Yeah, that could work, although I have to admit it was a bit of surprise to see Madea taking on the role of James Patterson’s detective.

I liked the poster a lot better at first glance, but the more I look at it the more the layout bugs me.  All of the white space to the left and the fact that Matthew Fox and Tyler Perry are in the same pose just makes the poster fall a bit flat.  I also think that they could have come up with a better tag line than: Don’t Ever Cross Alex Cross.  The trailer is interesting though.