Last night my wife and I were watching the 1958 Roger Corman cult film Machine Gun Kelly starring Charles Bronson. Morey Amsterdam, who is probably best known for his classic role as Buddy Sorrell on The Dick Van Dyke Show, was one of the co-stars. Amsterdam played a swishy, one-armed weasel named Fandango who eventually brings about Machine Gun Kelly’s downfall, but before he does there’s a scene that’s so unintentionally funny that I’ve got to tell you about it.
So the police have brought Fandango into the station. Fandango is a small, wimpy wanna-be bad guy that everyone pushes around. The cops have been sweating him in order to find Machine Gun Kelly. Despite their best efforts they’re unable to get Fandango to break so they turn him loose.
After Fandango leaves the room the head detective tells his partner not to worry, he’s put his best man on trailing the one-armed weasel. Less than five seconds later the door opens and a cop says, “He got away. I lost him. He slipped into the ladies room and got away.”
My wife and I both burst out laughing. Their best cop lost a small, one-armed man named Fandango before he could even get out of the police station! The next scene showed Fandango arriving at the hideout and he was still wearing his huge overcoat with the sleeve pinned up. He didn’t even have to try to disguise himself or lose his overcoat.
There’s a lesson here. If you really need a quick get away, hit the women’s room and don’t look back. Not even the best cop will be able to track you through there.
Sure, I’ve seen tons of videos of UFOs like this one flying over the beach which claim to be real. I’ve seen even more like this one which proves itself to be less than a UFO. I’ve heard claims from all kinds of UFO experts and even folks like this former Governor, this former candidate for President, and this former President. But it may be the expert known as the UFO Guy that presents the strongest case ever for the existence of extra, uh, exterter, um, exterest… aliens.
Femme Noir is a cartoon crime comic inspired by Eisner’s The Spirit, Gould’s Dick Tracy, plus a healthy mix of cliffhanger serials, B-movies, pulp magazines, and more. Each issue will feature a 28 page standalone story [how rare is that!] plus two pin-ups by guest artists!
Issues #1 and #3 are inked by Horacio Ottolini, issues #2 and #4 by Mark Stegbauer. Colors are provided by Melissa Kaercher and Matt Webb. As an added bonus, each issue is offered with two covers: one pencilled by Joe Staton and then digitally painted by Alfredo Lopez Jr, with the second by a guest artist. Those guest artists are Brian Bolland, Matt Haley, Phil Hester, and the late Mike Wieringo. [Some fans will buy the issues just for the guest covers!]
The official Femme Noir website is http://www.femme-noir.com. Check out the website and if you like what you see, help me spread the word. [And no, I’m not getting any kickbacks. I like Chris Mills’ work — especially his crime comic Gravedigger — and I’d like to see Chris and Joe Staton get the audience they deserve on Femme Noir. If it wasn’t a worthy comic, I wouldn’t be talking it up… and you wouldn’t still be reading this.]