Category: Humor

Santa vs Satan; Rocky vs Rambo Are Two Fights in Santa vs Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

A little over a year ago, I was contacted by Jake Kalish. He said that he was writing a book about imaginary fights and was looking for expert opinions. Jake wanted me to weigh in on the Rocky vs Rambo fight. So I did. Jake recently contacted me to let me know that a copy of the book, Santa vs Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights would be coming my way and that a link to the StalloneZone was printed along with my commentary. Here’s how I saw the fight:

  • “Rocky Balboa vs John Rambo. Its the battle of the ages (and no, not because they’re, at this point, no longer spring chickens). Sylvester Stallone is brought in as the guest ref. There will be no judges as this is a fight to the finish. Rambo starts out fast and takes an early lead as he gives Rocky a beating that would kill most men… BUT… Rocky… never quits. In the later rounds Rocky made a comeback and looks to have Rambo beat. After twelve grueling rounds with both men bloody and bruised, Sylvester Stallone, in a SLY (groan) move, calls the fight a draw.” – Craig Zablo

How did the other experts see the fight? Ari Voukydis went with Rocky in an upset, Graham Thompson said it was Rambo in an easy win, and Roger Barr gave the nod to Rambo. Jake Kalish says Rambo wins via split decision.

If you’re wondering about the other fights in the book, there are some imaginative ones: Muhammad Ali vs Bruce Lee, Han Solo vs Indiana Jones, Donald Duck vs Daffy Duck, Michael Corleone vs Tony Montana, My Dad vs Your Dad, Captain Crunch vs Tony the Tiger. Each fight has expert opinions and then Jake gives us the “official” fight commentary and results.The book reminds me of junior high kids wasting an afternoon deciding “who would win if…” [Not that there’s anything wrong with that.] I do have to caution that sometimes the humor crosses the line of good taste, but if you can get past a few, “I can’t believe he wrote that moments” you’ll find plenty of chuckles as you drift back to junior high and think about “who would win if…”

– Craig

You Just Might Get It!

Today we have a short clip that you have to see to believe. It’s from an old wrestling match that paired Terry Funk with Cactus Jack aka Mick Foley against some mugs that they’d beaten. Funk and Jack decide that their opponents need a little more hurt and so they ask for some chairs from the crowd. Big Mistake!

You can see that Funk and Foley, er, Cactus Jack are shocked at the number of chairs being hurtled into the ring. They move to opposite corners and begin to yell/signal for fans to stop. At just before the 1:30 mark a chair grazes Funk and he stays in character. Too funny!

Watch it here and remember, be careful what you ask for…

The Ghost of Gargantua

A trailer for Wild Bill Black’s “The Ghost of Gargantua” is now on-line. “Ghost of Gargantua” is the sequel to Bill’s ever-popular “The Amazing Colossal Woman.” Long-time ZONErs may remember this post where I talked about filming that was going to take place at one of Tim Gordon’s Tampa Cons. It did and much of it appears in the trailer below.

Here’s some trivia before you watch:

* The screaming crowd scenes were filmed on August 20, 2006 using fans in attendance at Tim Gordon’s con.

* At 2:09 in the trailer there is a close-up reaction shot of “The James” Howell. If you look closely at the collar of his shirt, you’ll notice its red. The red was from fake blood. Earlier in the day, we had shot a scene of “The James” being attacked by a vampire in a hotel room. That scene will appear in a future Bill Black release.

* You may recognize the four mugs featured in the trailer and pictured below: starting at the top and going clockwise – 1] “The James” Howell – comic book and art collector, writer and director and all around great guy 2] me 3] John “The Master” Higashi – comic art collector, master of sketches, leader of the pack 4] John “Big” Beatty – comic book artist, king of nonsense, and my oldest friend [although not as old as Jim Ivey or Bill Black].

* John Beatty is wearing a patch in the trailer. It’s a running gag that his character, “Patch,” shows up in several of Bill’s movies. This is his second appearance with a third soon to follow!

* John Higashi gets a close-up in the trailer where he yells “Godzilla.” It was totally ad-libbed and brought down the house.


So sit down, relax, let your mind take you back to the days of drive-ins, Nightmare Theater and watch the trailer for “The Ghost of Gargantua!”

Harvey Korman – RIP

For a period of time, Harvey Korman was a member of one of the funniest comedy ensembles on tv as part of The Carol Burnett Show. I, along with millions of other folks loved to tune in each week to see how Mr. Korman and the others were going to make us [and each other] laugh. In fact that was one of the joys of the show, seeing the cast members attempt to not crack up as they played out their scenes. Mr. Korman won four Emmys for his work on the show.

After leaving The Carol Burnett Show, Mr. Korman went on to make other guest appearances in movies and tv. Mel Brooks used Harvey Korman regularly because every time Mr. Korman appeared on screen he made things at the very least just a bit funnier. Here’s a link to a classic bit with Mr. Korman from The Carol Burnett Show plus a photo tribute.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends and fans.