Category: Humor

Girlfriend 1.0

I found this over at MissCelina.com and thought it was funny enough to pass along…

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNight Out 3.1, Rugby 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSe*Plus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can’t be turned off.

Recently I’ve been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your assets before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please?

Sketch of the Dead

Since many of the folks that drop by here are fans of zombie movies, I thought that they [and hopefully you are part of “they”] would get a kick out of this short humorous take on two guys hoping to survive a zombie outbreak.  Without further adieu I give you Sketch of the Dead.

Stay Out of the Doghouse!

There’s less than two weeks until Christmas.  I know most of the guys reading this haven’t yet bought their wife, girlfriend or significant other their Christmas present.  Admit it fellas, some of us haven’t even started thinking about what to get them… and there’s probably one or two of you reading this now going, “Wow!  I didn’t realize Christmas was this month!”

So I’m going to help you.  Watch this funny video. Pay close attention.  Stay out of the doghouse!

Thanks to John Beatty for passing me the link!

“The Goon” in Thought

Friday night I watched my dvd extras for “The Mist” and was surprised to see Eric “The Goon” Powell on set with Frank DarabontI’ve been an Eric Powell fan for years. So has Frank DarabontIn fact, Eric Powell did one of my favorite Stallone pieces [thanks again, John Higashi!].

Eric’s work on his creation, The Goon is required reading for all comic fans.  And since we’re speaking of The Goon [okay, technically we’re not speaking and I am writing, but…} did you know that Eric has created an issue of The Goon without word balloons?  The entire comic is made up of silent panels or just shots with thought balloons.  The story involves the Goon, a stolen necklace, a fem fatale and a crazy killer… oh, and no word balloons.  Sounds cool, right?  You can read more about it, here at CBR.com.

Top 50 Cartoon Characters

Recently About.com posted a piece about the TOP 50 Cartoon Characters.  Like all lists, this one is sure to create some controversy.   I definitely think that several characters that somehow didn’t make the cut, should have been on it.

Still, I enjoy playing around with lists, so, using just the characters on their TOP 50, here is my TOP 10 [in alphabetical order] with comments:

Batman: has always been a favorite comic character and I’ve enjoyed all of the different cartoon versions as well.

Bugs Bunny: was always best in small doses. I also enjoyed the supporting cast [Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, etc.]
 
Charlie Brown: If you were a kid growing up in the 60’s, you have to be a fan of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the rest of the gang.  Holidays still aren’t complete without at least knowing that Charlie Brown is playing somewhere.
 
Fred Flintstone: is a simple concept – transport “The Honeymooners” to the stone age!

Mighty Mouse: I’ll admit it.  I used to put on a cape and play Mighty Mouse.  Yeah, laugh now, but if you needed me to save the day, you’d be singing a different tune.

Pink Panther: A great theme song and a fun cartoon.

 Popeye: I probably watched more hours of Popeye than any other cartoon. I especially loved the oldest version with Bluto, Wimpy, the Sea Witch

Space Ghost: When it first ran, I thought Space Ghost was pretty cool. I watched some episodes years later and thought “not so much”.

Tom and Jerry: Who doesn’t love the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. They were so much fun.

Wile E. Coyote: I was a huge fan of The Road Runner cartoons.  My wife doesn’t like ‘em since they’re all the same.  But that’s the beauty of it.  How many different ways can ole Wile E. screw up?

Okay, now that that’s done… how could Jonny Quest not make the list?

I Am Jules

Here’s a survey that I took part in via my Facebook page.  Since I’m a Tarantino fan [especially his early work], I thought it’d be interesting to see which character the survey paired me up with.  Jules from    “Pulp Fiction” is one of the coolest characters in Tarantino’s universe, so no complaints there.  While I don’t think that I’m brutal or dangerous, I do have a “deep-seated sense of justice and righteousness” and a “strong moral code”.  I’d like to think that I learn from my mistakes, and so far in life everything does seems to happen for a reason. 

Yeah, I have no problems being matched up with Jules. I wonder if anyone does the survey and finds out that he/she matches up with “The Gimp“?

Survey Says

Here’s a survey that was sent to me via my Facebook page:

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Diet Coke

2. Where was your profile picture taken? School

3. Can you play Guitar Hero? Never tried

4. Name someone who made you laugh today? John Beatty

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? 11:30… Watched “The Ultimate Fighter”

6. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be ? North Carolina / Tennessee area

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Yep.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? My wife lives in the same house.

9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends? Maybe with each other.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? It’s not a bad third or fourth choice.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? Probably at my grandmother’s funeral

12. Who took your profile picture? A very brave photographer

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? My niece and her newborn son.

14. Was today better than yesterday? Yep, but not as good as tomorrow.

15. Can you live a day without TV? Sure, but why deprive myself a little pleasure?

16. Are you upset about anything? Just the length of this survey

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Yep.

18. Are you a bad influence? Never. Seldom. Okay, maybe on a rare occasion.

19. Night out or night in? Mostly night in.

20. What items could you not go without during the day? Computer and cell phone.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My niece and her handsome newborn son.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? “USATODAY: David Letterman reveals affairs, extortion attempt”

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I am blessed.

24. Do you hate anyone? Nope.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? Nada.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? Without a doubt.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Yeah, but they were wrong about some other things, so take it with a grain.

28. What song is stuck in your head? “Some Like It Hot”… heard it on the way to work this morning at about 5:50am

29 . Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? Anyone in a dream.

30. Wanna have grandkids by the time you’re 50? Fifty? LOL. If so, it had better happen within the next 20 days.

31. Name something you are doing tomorrow? Chaperoning at a homecoming carnival and a homecoming football game.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Too much about too little.

33. Do you smile a lot? Is all the time a lot?

John Beatty Live!

Did you happen to catch John Beatty drawing live on UStream?   John asked me to “co-host” and we had a fun time “talking” with fans who happened to drop by.

John and I plan to do this again and maybe even work out a regular schedule.  Of course we’ll post information before the broadcasts on our sites.  Hope you can join us.  Check out John’s Youtube page for all his videos!

The Vampire’s Assistant

You know, if someone had asked me about “The Vampire’s Assisstant” before I saw the trailer, I’d have said it’s based on a book geared to teenagers and will probably do well with the younger teenage crowd… and no, I have no desire to read the book or see the movie.

After seeing the trailer, and I still can’t believe I’m about to write this, “The Vampire’s Assisstant” looks kind of interesting and fun.  Am I wrong?