{"id":2092,"date":"2008-11-30T16:01:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-30T20:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/craigzablo.com\/?p=2092"},"modified":"2008-11-30T16:01:00","modified_gmt":"2008-11-30T20:01:00","slug":"time-for-a-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/?p=2092","title":{"rendered":"Time for a Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>There was a long, long line of spirits <\/span>at the gate waiting to get into heaven<\/span>. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The first man<\/span> in line started telling his story, “Well, Peter<\/span>, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me<\/span> so I decided to come home early from work <\/span>one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn’t find him<\/span>. Then when I walked out onto the balcony<\/span>, there he was dangling<\/span> off the darn thing by his fingertips<\/span>. So I ran and got a hammer<\/span> then started beating his fingers<\/span> with it and he fell<\/span>. Well, the fall didn’t kill him<\/span>, because he landed in a bush<\/span> so I picked up the refrigerator<\/span> and threw it on him<\/span>. Although that killed him<\/span>, the strain gave me a heart attack<\/span>, and here I am<\/span>.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The next man<\/span> came up and started his story. “St. Peter<\/span>, I always work out on my balcony<\/span> on the 14th floor<\/span> of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off<\/span> when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought “Please God spare my life”<\/span> and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me<\/span>. I was even happier<\/span> when a man discovered me hanging there<\/span>. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer<\/span> so I fell again<\/span>. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush<\/span>. But I’m here now<\/span> because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me<\/span>.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It was now the third guy’s turn <\/span>to start his story. “Well, Peter,<\/span> just picture this. I’m hiding butt naked in this married chick’s refrigerator<\/span>…..”<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":912,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[63],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/912"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2092"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2092\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}