{"id":6468,"date":"2012-02-26T01:20:13","date_gmt":"2012-02-26T05:20:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/craigzablo.com\/?p=6468"},"modified":"2021-03-20T15:43:19","modified_gmt":"2021-03-20T19:43:19","slug":"tales-of-megacon-2012-mitch-vs-big-russian-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/?p=6468","title":{"rendered":"Tales of MegaCon 2012: Mitch vs BIG ANGRY RUSSIAN GUY"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Yesterday, I promised<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span> a\u00a0 MegaCon<\/span><\/a> 2012<\/strong> story about John “Hex” Carter<\/strong>. So, on the off-chance that’s why you’re back, here it is.<\/p>\n

Hex<\/strong> was set up at MegaCon 2012<\/strong> three tables south of John Beatty<\/strong> and I.\u00a0 As you can see from the photo, Hex<\/strong> is a big guy.\u00a0 When in character, as he was for MegaCon<\/strong>, Hex<\/strong> speaks in a deep, booming Russian<\/strong> voice.\u00a0 Imagine a mean, angry Cossack’s thunderous voice<\/strong> and then think a little scarier<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The other guy in the photo is Mitch Hyman<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span>.\u00a0 Mitch<\/strong> is a funny guy. If he heard me say that, Mitch<\/strong> would say something like, “Yeah, but looks aren’t everything.”\u00a0 Mitch<\/strong> is a much smaller guy than Hex<\/strong>.\u00a0 Oh, and Mitch<\/strong> had never met or even seen Hex<\/strong> before.<\/p>\n

So it’s early on Saturday<\/strong> and Mitch<\/strong> is telling Beatty<\/strong> and I one of his many humorous stories when Mitch<\/strong> says something about his Russian grandma’s beard<\/strong> — and follows that up with something to the effect of, “You know all Russian<\/strong> women have beards.”<\/p>\n

I say, “Hey Mitch<\/strong>!\u00a0 You better be careful what you say about Russian<\/strong> women and beards.”<\/p>\n

Mitch<\/strong> questions a look at me and says, “Yeah?\u00a0 Why’s that?”<\/p>\n

Perfect, he’s given me my in.\u00a0 “Because if the BIG RUSSIAN GUY<\/strong> hears you, he might take offense.”<\/p>\n

Mitch<\/strong> cracks a smile, thinking I’m joking and replies, “Let him take offense.\u00a0 I’ll kick his *** if he doesn’t like it.”<\/p>\n

“Really?”<\/p>\n

Mitch<\/strong> replies, “Really” and looks at me like it’s my move.<\/p>\n

So while returning Mitch’s stare<\/strong>, I yell: “Hey BIG RUSSIAN GUY<\/strong>!”<\/p>\n

On cue, Hex<\/strong> rises to his full height, raises his arms in the air and yells in that booming, scary Cossack voice<\/strong>: “Vhat?”<\/p>\n

The look on Mitch’s face<\/strong> is priceless.\u00a0 There is no way that Mitch<\/strong>\u00a0 believed that there was a Russian<\/strong> around, much less a BIG RUSSIAN GUY<\/strong> who might be angry about his comment.\u00a0 Mitch<\/strong> immediately says to me, “Don’t get me in trouble with this guy.”<\/p>\n

Ignoring Mitch<\/strong>, I instead point to him and yell to the BIG RUSSIAN<\/strong>: “This guy says that all Russians<\/strong> are…”<\/p>\n

Mitch<\/strong> quietly says to me, “Zablo<\/strong>, don’t get my butt kicked.”<\/p>\n

I continue: “...SISSIES<\/strong>!”<\/p>\n

With that Hex<\/strong>, in character roars: “RUSSIANS<\/strong> are not SISSIES<\/strong>!” and he begins stomping down to our table.\u00a0 Mitch<\/strong> goes paler, if you can believe that.\u00a0 Hex<\/strong> stomps down to the table.\u00a0 For a split\u00a0 second Mitch<\/strong> stands frozen in his spot staring up at the huge angry Russian<\/strong>. Then we all have a good laugh and I get them to pose for photos.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, I promised a\u00a0 MegaCon 2012 story about John “Hex” Carter. So, on the off-chance that’s why you’re back, here<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":912,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[56,63],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics","category-humor","comments-off"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6468","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/912"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6468"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6468\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26491,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6468\/revisions\/26491"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/craigzablo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}