“Small Engine Repair” (2021) starring Jon Bernthal, Shea Whigham, John Pollono, Ciara Bravo & Spencer House / Z-View

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Small Engine Repair (2021)

Director: John Pollono

Screenplay: John Pollono

Stars: Jon Bernthal, Shea Whigham, Jordana Spiro, John Pollono, Ciara Bravo, Spencer House, Josh Helman, James Badge Dale and James Ransone 

Tagline:  None.

The Plot…

Frank (J. Pollono), Terrence (Bernthal) and Packie (Whigham) have been best friends since high school.  When Frank’s marriage broke up, he kept custody of his daughter, Crystal (Bravo).  Thankfully, the guys stepped in to help raise her.  When Frank had to do some time in prison because of his temper, the guys took custody of Crystal until Frank got out.  Now Crystal is about to go to college and the guys can breathe a little easier…

When Frank asks Terrence and Packie to meet him one night at his small engine repair shop, they have no idea what’s up.  When they learn that it involves something that happened to Crystal, there is no line that they won’t cross to make things right.

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

I’m surprised that more people aren’t talking about Small Engine Repair.  It is one of the most under-rated movies I’ve seen this year.  John Pollono adapted his play for the screen, directed and also stars.  He’s joined by Jon Bernthal, Shea Whigham (both are always great), Ciara Bravo and Spencer House (who more than hold their own).

Small Engine Repair reminded me of Slingblade in that it’s a small budget film, focused on working class folks with a powerful story that was written and directed by the star of the film.  Small Engine Repair takes time to set everything up and covers a lot of ground.  Then we get to the last act and the tension mounts as we learn what Frank has planned.  Once all cards are on the table there is no turning back… or is there?

I loved Small Engine Repair and hope that more people get a chance to see it.

Small Engine Repair earns 5 of 5 stars.

“Hideout” (2021) Starring Katie Lyons / Z-View

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Hideout (2021)

Director:  Kris Roselli

Screenplay: Kris Roselli

Stars: Katie Lyons, Audrey Kovár, Chris Wolfe, Bryan Enright and Eric Francis Melaragni

Tagline: No One Can Hide Forever

The Plot…

After a botched robbery where Reed (Wolfe) was shot, Sarah, Rick and Kyle need a place to hold up until the heat dies down.  They find a remote farmhouse where an old woman lives with her granddaughter… at least that’s how it appears…

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

Hideout begins well enough with an interesting premise.  Four violent robbers on the run take shelter at a remote farm unaware that one of their hostages isn’t what she seems.   Unfortunately once it gets going Hideout doesn’t live up to its potential.  It’s slow with quite a bit of overacting by Wolfe and Enright,  Yelling and raising your eyebrows only takes you so far.  Katie Lyons is definitely the star of the show.

If you like low-budget horror, you can do worse, but I was expecting better.

Hideout earns 2 of 5 stars.

“Run Sweetheart Run” (2020) starring Ella Balinska & Pilou Asbæk / Z-View

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Run Sweetheart Run (2020)

Director: Shana Feste

Screenplay: Shana Feste, Keith Josef Adkins, Kellee Terrell

Stars: Ella Balinska, Pilou Asbæk, Clark Gregg, Shohreh Aghdashloo and Marco Khan

Tagline:  None.

The Plot…

Cherie (Balinska) is a single mom, and pre-law student working her way through college working as a secretary for a high-priced lawyer.  When her boss calls saying that he needs her to take his place at a dinner that evening with an important client, she reluctantly agrees.

Cherie meets Ethan (Asbæk) who turns out to be rich, handsome, charming and interested in Cherie.  As the evening progresses, Cherie begins to feel attracted to Ethan.  When they arrive back at Ethan’s house, he invites Cherie in for a drink.  Although hesitant, Cherie says she’ll come in for just one.

Cherie will soon find herself on the run for her life.  Ethan was not at all what he seemed to be.  Who will believe that Ethan is a savage murderer who intends to kill Cherie before sunrise?

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

Run Sweetheart Run takes surprising turns that some may not like.  I absolutely enjoyed them.  There are times when the fourth wall is broken.  When Ethan and Cherie go for a nightcap, as Cherie enters the house, Ethan turns and looks directly into the camera.  He then makes a go away motion to the audience and the camera backs up.  Ethan then enters the house and from a distance we hear screams, smashing furniture and suddenly Cherie bursts out of the house running for her life.

The movie takes on a supernatural aspect about three quarters of the way through, although there have been hints along the way.  Ella Balinska is excellent as the “girl on the run” who will have to survive by her wits and toughness.  Pilou Asbæk is believable as the charming date at one moment and terrifying killer in the next.  If you’re a fan of movies that break the mold and take chances, then Run Sweetheart Run may be for you.

Run Sweetheart Run earns 4 of 5 stars.

“Three Little Pirates” (1946) starring The Three Stooges / Z-View

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Three Little Pirates (1946)

Director:  Edward Bernds

Screenplay: Clyde Bruckman

Stars: Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Christine McIntyre and Vernon Dent 

Tagline: The Stooges’ newest tickler.

The Plot…

Larry, Curly and Moe are sailors who washed ashore on Dead Man’s Island.  After Curly flirts with Rita (McIntyre), the island’s ruler’s fiancée, the boys are sentenced to death.  Lucky for Larry, Curly and Moe, Rita has a plan to help the boys escape by dressing them as travelers from a strange land.  What could go wrong?

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

The highlight of Three Little Pirates is Curly and Moe performing the “Maharaja” routine.  Sadly this is the last short that features Curly throughout the whole production.  He had suffered a serious of small strokes and his health was in decline.  Larry gets in on the laughs when Curly and Black Louie have a knife-throwing contest.

Three Little Pirates earns 4 of 5 stars.

THE LAST ACTION HEROES by Nick de Semlyen is Coming!

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The Last Action Heroes: The Triumphs, Flops and Feuds of Hollywood’s Kings of Carnage by Nick de Semlyen looks like something many of us will want to check out.  Here’s the lowdown…

The behind-the-scenes story of the larger-than-life action stars who ruled ’80s and ’90s Hollywood—Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Jackie Chan, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, and Jean-Claude Van Damme—and the beloved films that made them stars, including Die Hard, Rambo, and The Terminator.

The Last Action Heroes opens in 1990, at the Cannes film festival, where Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone finally forged a truce. After years of bitter behind-the scenes combat—Stallone once threw a bowl of flowers at Schwarzenegger’s head; the body count in Schwarzenegger’s Commando was increased to “have a bigger d*** than Rambo”—the world’s biggest action stars had at last formed a friendship.

In The Last Action Heroes, film journalist Nick de Semlyen charts their wild, carnage-packed journey from enmity to friendship. He also reveals the personal stories of the colorful characters who ascended in their wake, from Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, to Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan. But as the ‘80s rolled on, the era of the invincible action hero who used muscle, martial arts, or the perfect weapon to save the day started to fade. When Jurassic Park trounced Schwarzenegger’s Last Action Hero in 1993, everyone knew that the glory days of these macho men–and the vision of masculinity they celebrated–were officially over.

Drawing on candid interviews with the action stars themselves, plus their collaborators, friends, and foes, The Last Action Heroes is a no-holds-barred account of a period in Hollywood history when there were no limits to the heights of fame these men achieved, or to the mayhem they wrought, onscreen and off.

If this sounds like something you’d enjoy, pre-orders are available now.  The book drops June 6, 2023.

Thanks to @popcornwithafork for the head-up!

“Three Pests in a Mess” (1945) starring The Three Stooges / Z-View

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Three Pests in a Mess (1945)

Director:  Del Lord

Screenplay: Del Lord

Stars: Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Christine McIntyre, Vernon Dent and ‘Snub’ Pollard

Tagline:  Three screwballs on the loose!

The Plot…

Larry, Curly and Moe are inventors who become enamoured with a gold digger who thinks the boys are loaded. When she finds out they’re not, she calls in her partners to rough up the boys.  While making their escape Curly accidently shoots a mannequin.  Thinking that Curly has killed a man, the boys put the “body” in a bag and take it to a cemetery to bury it.  What could go wrong?

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

Three Pests in a Mess is another Stooges classic.  Curly’s interactions with the gold digger and his shirt “preparedness” are priceless.  The cemetery scenes at night with Larry, Curly, Moe and the folks from the masquerade party (A devil, skeleton, and mad magician) are classic.  Curly shines when carrying the bag containing the mannequin and with each step he takes gets slapped in the head by the mannequin’s hand.  Three Pests in a Mess is another great example of how comedy and “horror” work so well together.

Three Pests in a Mess earns 5 of 5 stars.

Blonde Dynamite (1950) starring The Bowery Boys / Z-View

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Blonde Dynamite (1950)

Director:  William Beaudine

Screenplay:  Charles R. Marion

Stars:  Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Gabriel Dell, Harry Lewis, Murray Alper, Bernard Gorcey, Jody Gilbert, William ‘Billy’ Benedict, John Harmon, Michael Ross and Karen Randle

Tagline:  THE ESCORT BUREAU’S GOOFIEST GIGOLOS! They’re professional Romeos…to a gang of glamorous gun-girls!

The Plot…

When Slip (Leo Gorcey) and Satch (Hall) are unable to get jobs as male escorts, Slip decides to open his own escort service.  Slip convinces Louie (Bernard Gorcey) to take a long vacation.  As soon as Louie is gone, Slip turns the sweet shop into a male escort service using himself, Satch and the rest of the gang as escorts.

Gangsters have a plan to rob the bank next to the sweet shop.  They’ll go in at night since they’ve got the combination to the safe.  The mobsters use some of the women they work with to hire the boys as escorts so they can break through the sweet shop wall into the bank.  What could go wrong?

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

The Bowery Boys as male escorts has a lot of potential for laughs.  I wish the movie was as good as the premise.

Blonde Dynamite earns 2 of 5 stars.

“Judge Dredd” Alt Poster by Mickaël Journou!

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Mickaël Journou created this cool alt Judge Dredd poster.  Here’s what he had to say about it:

I recently rewatched the movie. An all-time classic for me (yeah, huge fan of Sly! haha). I’m obviously older now so I couldn’t help to wonder if our current society is heading towards what we see in that movie. This is my new full digital art poster!

You can see more of Journou’s art on his Twitter feed.

“Alligator” (1980) starring Robert Forster / Z-View

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Alligator (1980)

Director:  Lewis Teague

Screenplay:  John Sayles from a story by John Sayles, Frank Ray Perilli

Stars: Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Michael V. Gazzo, Dean Jagger, Sydney Lassick, Jack Carter, Henry Silva, Buckley Norris and Sue Lyon 

Tagline:  It lives 50 feet beneath the city. It’s 36 feet long. It weighs 2,000 pounds…And it’s about to break out!

The Plot…

An alligator that was flushed into the Chicago sewers twelve years ago begins feeding on discarded animal remains used in experiments.  This causes the gator to grow to a gigantic size with an insatiable appetite.  When body parts of missing city workers show up, police officer David Madison (Forster) and a rookie cop are sent into the sewer to investigate.

They discover the alligator, or perhaps it’s better to say the alligator discovers them.  Madison barely escapes but his partner isn’t as lucky.  Madison reports that there’s a giant alligator living in the sewers system, but no one believes him until the gator comes to the surface… and it’s hungry!

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

Alligator is a better movie than you might think a low-budget Jaws knockoff would be. That’s  thanks to the folks involved.  Lewis Teague (Death Race 2000; Cujo) knows how to get the most bang for the buck directing low budget horror.  John (The Howling; Piranha; Lone Star) Sayles provides a story with more depth than expected from a giant alligator movie.  Robert Forster is joined by Michael (Godfather II) Gazzo, Sydney (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) Lassick and Henry (Sharky’s Machine) Silva.  Dean Jagger and Sue Lyons also appear in what would be their last film roles.

There are two cool Easter Eggs in Alligator: 1) The first sewer worker to go missing is named Edward Norton which is a tip of the hat to The Honeymooners.  2) There’s graffiti on a sewer wall near the end of the movie that says, “Harry Lime Lives”.  This is a reference to Orson Welles character in The Third Man who escapes through a sewer.

Bryan (Breaking Bad) Cranston worked on the film as a production assistant for the Special Effects department and became friends with Robert Forster.

Alligator isn’t a great film, but it’s better than you might expect.

Alligator earns 3 of 5 stars.

TROOPER DOWN! by Anthony Neil Smith is Coming!

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Anthony Neil Smith recently shared the cover of his next novel, Trooper Down!  It’s described as a…

Psychological thriller in the Hitchcock tradition told in first person by a South Dakota State Trooper who is shot in the head and tries to redeem himself.

Trooper Down! isn’t available for pre-order yet.  Once it is, I’ll let you know… right after I put in my order.

“An Ache in Every Stake” (1941) starring The Three Stooges / Z-View

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An Ache in Every Stake (1941)

Director:  Del Lord

Screenplay:  Lloyd French

Stars: Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Symona Boniface, Vernon Dent, Bess Flowers and Bud Jamison 

Tagline:  None.

The Plot…

Larry, Curly and Moe are delivering ice using their horse drawn ice carriage.  Along the way, their escapades cause a business man to twice fall onto a birthday cake he is trying to bring home.  When a woman at the top of a very long/steep staircase calls for a block of ice, the boys are at a loss as how to get it up before it melts.

After several false, but funny starts, they get the ice up to the house.  Their antics disrupt the woman’s caterers so much that they quit.  No worries.  Larry, Curly and Moe offer to cook and serve the birthday meal… which is for, you guessed it, the man who was trying to get birthday cakes home.

Thoughts (beware of spoilers)…

An Ache in Every Stake is another favorite Three Stooges short.  If the long staircase looks like the same one Laurel and Hardy tried to get a piano up, it’s not!  Yeah, I was sure it was too.

An Ache in Every Stake earns 5 of 5 stars.