Santa vs Satan; Rocky vs Rambo Are Two Fights in Santa vs Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

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A little over a year ago, I was contacted by Jake Kalish. He said that he was writing a book about imaginary fights and was looking for expert opinions. Jake wanted me to weigh in on the Rocky vs Rambo fight. So I did. Jake recently contacted me to let me know that a copy of the book, Santa vs Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights would be coming my way and that a link to the StalloneZone was printed along with my commentary. Here’s how I saw the fight:

  • “Rocky Balboa vs John Rambo. Its the battle of the ages (and no, not because they’re, at this point, no longer spring chickens). Sylvester Stallone is brought in as the guest ref. There will be no judges as this is a fight to the finish. Rambo starts out fast and takes an early lead as he gives Rocky a beating that would kill most men… BUT… Rocky… never quits. In the later rounds Rocky made a comeback and looks to have Rambo beat. After twelve grueling rounds with both men bloody and bruised, Sylvester Stallone, in a SLY (groan) move, calls the fight a draw.” – Craig Zablo

How did the other experts see the fight? Ari Voukydis went with Rocky in an upset, Graham Thompson said it was Rambo in an easy win, and Roger Barr gave the nod to Rambo. Jake Kalish says Rambo wins via split decision.

If you’re wondering about the other fights in the book, there are some imaginative ones: Muhammad Ali vs Bruce Lee, Han Solo vs Indiana Jones, Donald Duck vs Daffy Duck, Michael Corleone vs Tony Montana, My Dad vs Your Dad, Captain Crunch vs Tony the Tiger. Each fight has expert opinions and then Jake gives us the “official” fight commentary and results.The book reminds me of junior high kids wasting an afternoon deciding “who would win if…” [Not that there’s anything wrong with that.] I do have to caution that sometimes the humor crosses the line of good taste, but if you can get past a few, “I can’t believe he wrote that moments” you’ll find plenty of chuckles as you drift back to junior high and think about “who would win if…”

– Craig

Prayers for the Assassin

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The Pitch: “Red Dawn“ with Islamic Radicals… 25 years later [and without the teenage freedom fighter aspect].

The Overview: The year is 2040 and the United States is long gone, replaced by the Islamic Republic and Bible Belt. Both factions exist in a state of constant unease. Sarah, the daughter of an important Islamic leader is missing. She was working on a book which could show that the demise of the United States may not have happened the way the history books say. Rakkim, her lover and a former member of the Fedayeen, is on her trail. So to, is Darwin, a sadistic assassin.

The Good: Ferrigno creates a world that could exist now. It’s the subtle changes that jolt. “The second half of the Super Bowl began right after midday prayers.” // The book could accurately be described as action-adventure or mystery or science fiction. // The pace is quick. // There are plenty of twists and mysteries. // Rakkim is a very cool, very capable hero. // Darwin is the ultimate assassin. “My name is Darwin. I’ll be your killer tonight.” // The scenes with the “werewolves” [which are not really werewolves]. // The SWAT ambush. // The entire book.

The Bad: “See there? Your liver’s been shredded. Amazing how quickly the bile backs up when the ducts have exploded. The human body… what a playground.” // “You’ll be dead in a couple of hours, but I wanted us to have some time together first. I so very rarely get to discuss my handiwork.”

The Ugly: What happens to Sarah early on.

The Summary: Robert Ferrigno is an excellent writer. I started reading Ferrigno’s work with The Horse Lattitudes, his first novel and my favorite by him. Prayers for the Assassin now has that honor. There is a chance that it may soon be replaced by Sins of the Assassin, the second in the Assassin trilogy. It sits in my To Be Read stack calling me back to a world very much like, yet subtly different than, that outside our windows today.

All Time Top Musical Artists

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Recently Billboard posted The Billboard Hot 100 All-Time Top Artists. Using just the choices in their “Hot 100” here is my Top 20 [in alphabetical order] with a few comments on each.

  • Beatles, The: I can still remember my mom getting me out of bed to come out and see The Beatles when they appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show for the first time. Some folks say, you’re either a Beatles fan or a Rolling Stones fan. I’m a Beatles fan. 
  • Bee Gees: I liked ’em before “Saturday Night Fever” and continued to like ’em even after the disco craze died. They could work the falsetto like nobody’s business. There was a period in the late 70’s when they owned the charts and created the soundtrack of some really fun years. 
  • Bolton, Michael: Quit rolling your eyes. I like Bolton’s singing. 
  • Chicago: Man, did they have a run or what? I first discovered their music in the early 70’s. I loved how they brought in the horns and were such a huge band and made it work. Different band members over the years, and they kept on making chart toppers. Put on their greatest hits and I’ll bet you wouldn’t skip a single song. 
  • Collins, Phil: Think of early 80’s music and you have to think of Phil Collins. He was the powerhouse behind Genesis, hit it big with music on “Miami Vice,” and rocketed to the top of the charts with a solo career and movie soundtracks. 
  • Eagles: I always liked their music, but it wasn’t until I was older and really started listening to their work that I realized how truly good they were. 
  • Earth, Wind & Fire: Chicago with soul. 
  • Hall & Oates: “Sarah Smile” was a classic and then about 6 years later they started pumping out hit after hit. Together Hall & Oates were gold. 
  • Houston, Witney: I loved her voice. Who didn’t? I also loved her squeeky clean reputation. Really. There was a time when she had one. 
  • Jackson 5: Anyone my age [late 40’s] grew up during the Jackson 5 craze. Hit records, commercials, cartoons and a lot of fun music. 
  • Jackson, Janet: Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty. At one time Janet seemed pretty normal. Each year she seems a little more out there. Despite all that, I do enjoy her music. 
  • Jackson, Michael: The King of Pop. The man who could do no wrong. Mr. Entertainment. And then the child abuse allegations… not once, but twice and they killed his career. But I can still “Remember the Time…” 
  • Joel, Billy: would make the list if the only album he ever recorded was 52nd Street. I can’t tell you how many times I listened without ever growing tired of it. He was one of the few musicians whose music I would buy without question. 
  • John, Elton: became a favorite of mine when I was in junior high. It’s funny, now but I can remember the rumors of him being gay [believe it or not youngsters, that there was a time when it wasn’t obvious] and the surprise when he came out of the closet. Elton has continued to evolve and his music [especially with song writer Bernie Taupin] remains timeless. 
  • Madonna: was like the weather in Florida. If you didn’t like her music/persona just wait a bit and it would change. I liked that she was willing to take chances, [although the acting thing was too much], be provoking, and produce fun and sometimes thoughtful music. 
  • Manilow, Barry: “Mandy” and “Time in New England” would get him on the list even if he didn’t have bunches of other hits. 
  • McCartney, Paul: My favorite Beatle. Paul had lots of great songs after the break-up of the band. Of course he makes the list. 
  • Richie, Lionel: Loved him with the Commodores and when he went solo. At the time, he had the best romantic songs going… of course that was before his wife caught him cheating and punched [kicked?] him out. 
  • Segar, Bob: The opposite of disco when disco was king. Loved his work — still do. 
  • Simon & Garfunkel: I was a little kid when they owned the charts… but every song was a winner.

Pearson’s One Shot

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Who doesn’t love Jason Pearson’s art? And when Pearson kicks it into high gear to write and draw Body Bags, who can resist? Of course with a title like Body Bags, you can guess that the violence is over the top. If that doesn’t bother you then check out this interview about the latest Body Bags One Shot and six page preview!

Hitchcock’s 10 Best

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TimesOnLine recently posted their choices for the Hitchcock’s 50 Most Memorable Moments. Using just their selections, I provide for your perusal, my Top Ten Hitchcock Moments:

  1. North by Northwest (1959) The crop-dusting scene: This is perhaps Hitchcock’s most famous scene: Cary Grant on the run from killers, finds himself alone in the middle of nowhere. A crop duster appears on the horizon. As it flies closer, we know even before the machine gun fire, that Grant has been found!

  2. Psycho (1960) The shower scene: If the crop dusting scene isn’t Hitchcock’s most famous, then this has to be. We still believe that Janet Leigh, the star of the movie, is going to come out okay. Once she takes a shower things will start looking up. Unfortunately they don’t, and she should have. Through the shower curtain we can see the murderer quietly sneaking over. Suddenly the shower curtain is thrown back, Bernard Herrmann’s score blasts and anyone who has ever seen the scene knows that taking a shower will never be the same.

  3. The Birds (1963) Climbing frame: When Tippi Hedren sits on bench and lights up a cigarette we see a single crow on the monkey bars behind her. As she begins to smoke a few more land. She’s oblivious to them and what they represent. Finally she takes notice of a bird that flies into frame and to the monkey bars. She [and the audience] see for the first time that dozens, perhaps hundreds of birds now cover the playground equipment.

  4. The Birds (1963) The “God” shot: This film is filled with so many memorable moments, and who can forget this classic scene? Hitchcock literally gives us a bird’s eye view of the carnage below… birds attacking, as the gas station explodes and the town goes up in flames… and as the camera looks in all directions all we can see are more birds!

  5. Psycho (1960) The discovery of “Mother” in the basement: Theater owners wouldn’t let people come in during the last minutes of the movie so as not to ruin the shocking surprise as we discover for the first time, the secret of “mother.”

  6. North by Northwest (1959) The amazing denoument: Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint have been chased across the country and find themselves trapped on, of all places, the presidents’ heads on Mount Rushmore. She is barely hanging on as Grant stretches to pull her up and suddenly…a happy ending. Like in Vertigo where we don’t see how Jimmy Stewart manages to get back to safety, it just doesn’t matter.

  7. Saboteur (1942) The Statue of Liberty dangle: Bob Cummings finally confronts the foreign agent at the top of the Statue of Liberty. During the struggle, the agent goes over the side, barley saved by Cummings’ grip on his sleeve. As Cummings struggles to bring him up the sleeve begins to slowly rip… one stitch at a time. Then comes the fall that seems to last almost as long!

  8. Lifeboat (1944) Starring Alfred Hitchcock: Alfred Hitchcock was the first director that I knew by name. I used to love looking for his cameos in movies and this was perhaps his most clever. He appears in a newspaper diet ad.

  9. Psycho (1960) Marion Crane’s car journey to the Bates motel: Poor Janet Leigh has gotten in way over her head, but she’s the heroine of the story so despite the bad weather and the worries so clearly seen from her expressions, we know everything will turn out okay in the end.

  10. Rear Window (1954) Lisa is caught in Thorwarld’s apartment: Grace Kelly plays Lisa, Jimmy Stewart’s girlfriend. Stewart is convinced that the neighbor across the courtyard has killed his wife. Lisa goes in to the neighbor’s apartment to search for evidence as Stewart watches from his window, immobilized with two broken legs. He [and we] are shocked when the murderer suddenly returns to find Lisa in his apartment!

Time Out

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I try to keep my ZONE posts geared to fun stuff [movies, television, novels, comic books, art, etc.]. For this post, I’m going to make an exception and write briefly about something out of the norm.

On Friday evening, one of my students who plays on our high school football team suffered a terrible injury. His neck was broken while making a tackle. He was rushed to the hospital and surgery started late that evening and went into the early hours of the next day. His mother, little brother and a couple of close friends were joined by the head football coach, the head and assistant basketball coaches, our athletic trainer, our principal and me. As the minutes slowly ticked off and the surgery continued, his older brother [he’s going to college out of town], a few more close friends and a former football coach arrived. At about 1:30AM, a doctor came out and said that surgery was going well, that all signs were good and they’d be operating for another hour or so. After surgery, the student was admitted to the hospital.

This morning all signs continue to be good. The student has full use of his arms and legs. He still has a ways to go to be fully healed, but the worst should be over.

The reason that I wanted to post about this is that sometimes we forget about what’s really important in life. We also forget about how quickly events can change, sometimes forever. It shouldn’t take a catastrophic accident to remind us of what’s important… to let those we care about know it… to appreciate the blessings that we have.

Maybe it can be something as simple as a blog post.

All Time Best SciFi TV

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Entertainment Weekly recently posted their selections for the Twenty Greatest Sci-Fi Shows of All Time. You know how I love lists, so I decided to play along. Using just shows from EW’s top 20, I came up with my top five:

5. OUTER LIMITS (1963-1965) Truthfully, I don’t remember all that many episodes. Considering that I was just five years old when the show premiered and seven when it went off the air. What I do remember is that I loved staying up late [well, it was late to a five year old] to watch the show with my mom. And it had that classic opening… “We control the horizontal…” I’d love to re-visit some of the episodes again. RTN are you listening?

4. THE SIX-MILLION DOLLAR MAN (1974-1978) This was “must-see” tv for all kids my age. Who wouldn’t want to be Steve Austin? Who could forget that dramatic opening of the test flight gone wrong, the horrible crash, and then… “We can rebuild him. Make him stronger… faster” and cut to Lee Majors running in slow motion? I’m really surprised this show hasn’t been updated for the big screen. Of course they’d probably have to call it “The Six Billion Dollar Man.”

3. LOST (2004 – Present) I’ve been riding the Lost wave since the premiere and haven’t missed an episode. I’m glad the show has an end date in sight not because I’m not enjoying it, but because I want to feel that a definite story is being told. If too many mysteries keep being thrown at us and few are resolved, it would grow old. Now there’s little chance of that.

2. STAR TREK (1966-1969) I’ve talked about my love for the ORIGINAL Star Trek many times. In fact, I was a little surprised that I didn’t rate it number one. How can that be? It’s just not logical.
1. THE TWILIGHT ZONE (1959-1964) I was six years old when The Twilight Zone went off the air. It was another of those shows that I used to love watching safe on the couch. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve seen some of the classic episodes. Any time the SciFi channel runs a TZ marathon you can count me in!

Remembering 9-11

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It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that the 9/11 attacks took place seven years ago. The images, the shock and the horror are still all too clear.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of all impacted on that terrible day.

Photo credit: Naom Galai

The Zablo Lottery

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If you were trying to guess the country with the highest percentage of Zablo family members [and why you’d want to do that is fodder for another post]; what country would you guess? I would have thought Romania, or Italy. I would have been wrong. It’s actually the United States. But even in the good ole US of A the odds of bumping in to a Zablo are less than one in a million. Way less. According to this site, it’s more like .2 in a million.

So if you ever run in to me or one of my family members think of how lucky you are. It’s like hitting the lottery… without the cash pay off of course.

What’s the Worst That Can Happen?

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“What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’ll create a black hole that will devour our planet.”Does that sound like bad science fiction? It’s not.

Scientists disagree about what will happen when the world’s largest atom-smasher fires up for the first time. Most think that it’s perfectly safe and may give an indication of what conditions were present at the time the universe was created. A few men of science, however, believe that the process will create tiny black holes that will grow increasingly larger as they consume the Earth. These men even tried to get a court order to stop the experiment from going forward!

A tip of the brainiac covering to Jeff Parker for the original link.