“The Horde” (2016) / Z-View

The Horde (2016)

Director:  Jared Cohn

Screenplay:  Paul Logan

Starring:  Paul Logan, Tiffany Brouwer, Sydney Sweeney, Nestor Serrano, Vernon Wells, Bill Moseley, Costas Mandylor, Thomas Ochoa and Don Wilson.

Tagline: Fight back or die.

The Overview:  Beware of Spoilers…

John Crenshaw (Logan), an ex-Navy SEAL accompanies his girlfriend (Brouwer) and some of her photography students into the deep woods for a class assignment.  When the group is attacked by a family of inbred mutants, it will be up to Crenshaw to save them.

The Horde wants badly to be  Rambo Meets The Hills Have Eyes.  That would seem to be an achievable goal.  They’ve got a star who is believable when it comes to fight scenes.  They have several actors known for their work in horror films.  The plot is simple.  It takes place in the woods at night; sets shouldn’t be a problem.  So what went wrong?

Everything is so bad.  Navy SEAL tough guy at a loss for words with his girl because he’s so in love.  Spoiled, rich student who insults everyone, but is still part of the group.  Two students in the back seat who make-out for the entire hours long trip to the deep woods — with their teacher fully aware.  A female student falling for one of the male students on the trip and casually discussing sexual advice with her teacher.   They’ve been driving for hours and in the background it looks like they are still in the neighborhood.  The dialogue is terrible.  The acting only slightly better.  (Thomas Ochoa is the exception — he is funny/irritating/believable as the spoiled rich brat.)

Fans of low-budget horror/action may like The Horde.  It just wasn’t for me.  The Horde rates 1 of 5 stars