Category: Trivia

If It Weren’t For Bad Luck…

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I always try to keep my ZONE pieces positive and I don’t want that to change. Generally things go really well for me… You can hear the “but” coming can’t you?

For the last couple of weeks my luck has been terrible. [Before I go on, let me make it clear that the problems that I’m going to mention are minor compared to what some folks go through daily. I’m not looking for pity, only to explain why my posts have been scarce.]
It all started a few days before Christmas. My computer died. I know for some of us, that’s worse than the death of a seldom-seen relative. Luckily I had backed up most things. Of course I lost a bunch of e-mails and the like, but not enough to wish harm to dear ole Uncle Sticky. The timing wasn’t the best [“Rocky Balboa” had just opened and I had another week to go on the official movie blog], but I knew that I’d be able to work things out.
We’d been planning a family trip for the day after Christmas and I was looking forward to Christmas Eve with my wife and kids, my mom, my brother’s family, my two sister’s and their families, my cousin… well, you get the picture. Christmas Eve was great, unfortunately before the night was out my youngest son was throwing up and had come down with a major stomach bug. We postponed opening Christmas presents since he was so sick. [You KNOW a kid is sick when he doesn’t feel liking opening gifts.]
We decided to put off our trip for a day to make sure that Chris felt well enough to travel. The next day I came down with it. I spent the day reliving Chris’ losing battle to avoid the bathroom. I was throwing up and facing other aspects of the bug. Obviously we’d have to put off the trip again.
The next day I was still feeling woozey and my oldest son came down with the bug as well. Thank God we have two bathrooms. At that point we knew we weren’t destined to go out of state and cancelled the trip.
After a few days of the entire family feeling healthy we decided that a short trip to St. Augustine [about 60 miles away] was in order. We all loaded up the car and headed off. We made it about two miles from the house when my car died! I pulled it over to the side of the road and contacted Triple A. One and a half hours later a tow truck arrived [my family had long since left with another family member] and it was off to the shop where I learned it was a problem with the fuel pump.
And my computer was still dead.
Still, there is usually a silver lining… the fuel pump was under warranty. We’ve all returned to good health. I’m writing this post from my NEW computer and Uncle Sticky is probably still alive and kicking.

Man of the Year Material

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My buddy, “Big” John Beatty, although best known for his comic book art [The Punisher, Captain America, Batman, etc.] does, from time to time, write a pretty funny blog.

Big John has started updating again. His most recent post looks at People Magazine’s two time Sexiest Man of the Year award winners George Clooney and Johnny Depp. Seems that since Big John has so many things in common with them, he feels that his time as Sexiest Man of the Year must be coming. Read John’s post and then come on back for my comments.

Oh, back so soon?

I did some research and contacted a friend in the know. He called me back and the conversation went like this:

Mr. X: “John Beatty is on the list to be People’s Sexiest Man of the Year. The trouble is there are a few people ahead of him. Folks like: Andy Dick, Abe Vigoda, Don Rickles, Rex Reed and Jackie Gleason.”

Me: “Jackie Gleason! Jackie Gleason has been dead for years.”

Mr. X: “Yeah, but even now he’s still sexier than Beatty.”

Me: “Wow. That’s rough.”

Mr. X: “Yeah, but Craig, there’s one thing you need to know.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Mr. X: “Beatty‘s ranked ahead of you on the list.”

Ouch.

When I Lie, I Tell the Truth

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It was announced today that OJ Simpson has written a book titled “If I Did It.” [available November 30th]. OJ will also sit for a two part interview special to air November 27th and 29th on FOX. In the book and interviews Simpson will describe how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman, “if he were the one responsible.”


Despite the fact that the book’s publisher is referring to it as OJ’s confession, it does carry a disclaimer that it’s complete fiction.


Isn’t it ironic that many [if not most] folks will feel that in the past when OJ has swore that he didn’t do it, he was lying. And now when he says that he’s lying, he’s really telling the truth!

Britney Files

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Bad news for for K-Fed…
Everyone knows by now that Britney Spears has filed for divorce.
Almost everyone is speculating as to the reason
That she would leave him…
There may be another man in her life
You would think that if that was the case, there would at least be some clues as to his identity!

A Day Late is Right on Time

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Chris Mills points out that yesterday was Ed Wood Jr.‘s birthday. Wood was the director of such infamous movies as “Plan 9 from Outer Space” and “Bride of the Monster” [both of which, can be seen in the early morning hours this Saturday on Turner Movie Classics].

There’s something that’s just right about celebrating Ed Wood Jr.‘s birthday a day late. So with that in mind, here’s a fan tribute him.

Today We Die!

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My buddy, John Beatty, and I have been taking trips together since we were teenagers. So about 30 years ago, before we headed off on a short trip to Orlando, one of us looked at the other and said, “I really feel like we’re going to get in a wreck today.” Of course we didn’t, but that didn’t stop the creepy feeling that that simple statement gave us.It became a kind of joke with us. We’d be pulling out for a trip to Orlando, Tampa, Atlanta, or any destination and one of us would say to the other “I really feel like we’re going to get in a wreck today.” Over the years the statement even occasionally changed to “I really feel like we’re going to be killed in a car wreck today.” Of course whoever is driving then has to make sure that the prediction doesn’t come true. So far I’m 100% and John is pretty close to that.

So in honor of a stupid statement that we continue to toss at each other [of course NEVER when my wife or kids are riding with us], I give you Today We Die!

Scary Funny [2006]

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When I was in college I worked at a Burger Chef. I was the “morning manager” and it was my job to go in at 5am and oversee breakfast preparations. I was the first one in and then two or three other employees would arrive as we got closer to opening. One morning, Denise [who was going to school to be a hair stylist] and I decided to play a prank on Phil. We took one of her wig “heads” and placed it in the ice machine. We then put ketchup around the head. When Phil arrived it was still dark out. Before he could even get out of his car, I was calling for him to hurry up and come in. He hustled over and in and I quickly locked the door. I told him that a police officer had been by to warn us that a killer was loose in the area. [And as I told the story, Denise played it up by looking quite frightened and nodding her head]. I said that the cop had told me that at least three people had been murdered with an axe! He said that we should be especially careful and report anything out of the norm.

Phil thought that maybe we shouldn’t open. I assured him that we were safe inside and that soon customers would arrive and it would be light out. I said as long as we stay inside everything will be fine. We all began prepping.

One of Phil’s jobs was to stock the soda bins with ice. He did his other duties, but you can be sure that when he was ready to get ice, Denise and I had positioned ourselves where we could see him. Phil went over, opened the ice machine, saw the “bloody head,” let out as scream and started to run backwards! LOL! Of course he realized that it was a mannequin almost as soon as the scream left his mouth… but by then it was too late. Denise and I were laughing so hard we couldn’t stand. Even Phil started laughing… of course for the next few weeks we all were on guard for pranks.