Time for a Laugh

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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed.   George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said. “No” and explained the situation. Then the police explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed.   Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up.   Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up.   Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Take Me Back to “Babylon A.D.”

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The Pitch: “The 5th Element” meets “Blade Runner” with a little bit of “Children of Men” in the mix.

The Overview: Set about 30 years in the future, Toorop [Vin Diesel] is a mercenary hired to deliver a woman [Melanie Thierry] from Russia to the US.   Since border crossings are no longer easy, and Toorop is considered a terrorist in the US, it ain’t gonna be easy.  Of course if it were easy, we wouldn’t have much of a movie, would we?

The Good: The sense of time and place is excellent… from poor battle-torn slums in Russia to a frozen sea crossing to the bright lights of NYC.  The unexpected stuff that seems expected to the characters in the movie — the helicopter/car ride, the submarine rising from the ice to transport refugees, paper maps that work like computers, etc.  Toorop keeping his word when he is first brought in.  That technology is everywhere.   The cast.  Diesel in a cage fight.  Melanie Thierry is believable as Aurora.

The Bad: The advertising for “Babylon A.D.” — and the fact that the director complained that he wasn’t able to achieve his full vision.  The ending is somewhat quick, but totally works with everything given.

The Ugly: The slums of Russia.  What happens to Gorsky.

The Summary: “Babylon A.D.” was so much better than I thought it would be.  I watched the unrated version [it and the theatrical version are on the dvd] and totally enjoyed it.  It’s not a great film, but one that I believe will grow better with each viewing.  I look forward to it joining my dvd library.

Joe Bluhm Gives It Away

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Joe Bluhm’s drawings are dead-on.  Folks say Joe Bluhm has “crazy skills.” “Mad talents” cry others.  I’m starting to wonder if maybe both groups are right… and not just about his skills and talents.  See, Joe has a new art book coming out called Sketch Infectus.  And that’s where things start to head into crazyville.

Joe’s Sketch Infectus is an 80 page hardcover art book filled with nearly 400 of Joe’s drawings.   He’s selling this sweet package for just $19.95.  That comes to less than 20 cents a sketch.  Insane, right?  Well, it gets better my friends.

Joe also went out and gathered quotes, tips and advice from some of the top artists working today.  People like Tom Richmond, Steven Silver, Phillip Burke and others.  Did Joe raise the price?  Nope.

Then to show you how out there Joe is with this offer, let’s quote the man himself:

Anyone who pre-orders by February 5th (happens to be a good friend’s birthday!) will get an original sketch. And by sketch, I don’t mean I’ll draw a little 5 second scribble… I mean I’ll actually be cutting out the sketches from these and other sketchbooks and giving them to you! You might get something IN the book and you might get something else! Your sketch might have a doodle on the back. Who knows!

Now that deal is insane and crazy.  And if you don’t jump on it, you’d have to be too.

Flatulene – Stinky Good Time

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If Rev. Dave Johnson aka “The Potentate” draws it, I’m there.  So today we have a link to Rev. Dave’s trailer for “Flatulene.” What is “Flatulene” you ask?  Well, here’s how “The Potentate” describes it:

Farting for fun and profit… About 3 days of work to put this together for Titmouse Studios second annual 5 second animation day… As I worked on it, her story started to write itself… My inspiration was Russ Myers ‘Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill’… I might even try to pitch this to Adult Swim.

So if a smokin’ hot chick with irritable-bowel syndrome,  fast cars and a partner who’s a flesh-eating zombie sounds like something you’d like to check out, then click here.  VROOM! VROOM!

Ledger Deserves It

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It was announced today that Heath Ledger has been nominated for a Best Support Actor Oscar for his work as the Joker in “The Dark Knight.” Although most say that it’s enough to be nominated, I’d really, really like to see Ledger win.   [I’ll be pulling for Mickey Rourke in the Best Actor category, but not quite as hard.]

Time for a Laugh

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A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Barnes,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.  I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Fife

Sign Me Up for The Eternal Prison

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Jeff Somers jumped to the top of my MUST READ AUTHORS list with his first Avery Cates novel, The Electric Church.  His second in the series, The Digital Plague was even better.  So you can imagine how much I’m looking forward to his third Avery Cates novel, The Eternal Prison.  Here’s what we have to look forward to:

Avery Cates is a wanted man. After surviving the worst bioengineered disaster in history, Cates finds himself incarcerated – in Chengara Penitentiary. As Chengara has a survival rate of exactly zero, the system’s most famous gunner must do some serious plotting. And a betrayal or so later, he achieves his goal. At a price.

All he has to do now is defeat some new personal demons, forge some unlikely alliances, and figure out why the people he’s killed lately just won’t stay dead.

Since The Eternal Prison won’t be out until this August, if you haven’t read the first two books now is the time to get on it.  If you’ve already read them,  you’ll have to be satisfied with hanging out at Jeff’s Blog or the official site for The Eternal Prison.

Bob May: RIP

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Bob May passed away today.  Many, if not most of you probably don’t recognize the name or face.  I know I didn’t right away.  The reason that I’m noting his passing is because he played an important role in one of my favorite TV shows when I was a kid.  Bob May was the man in the robot suit on “Lost in Space.” Although it was Dick Tufeld who provided the robot’s voice, it was Bob May that made the robot move.  Together they created one of the most memorable tv characters of all time.

Bob May didn’t have a huge list of credits on the Internet Movie Database.  He wasn’t a household or name or have an instantly recognizable face, but he did play a part on one of my favorite shows as a kid and I didn’t want to let his passing go without mention.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends and fans.

Viking Crime Story?

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I love crime stories.  Movies, comics, novels, it doesn’t matter if it’s well done.  I’ve read modern crime stories, futuristic crime stories, but I’ve never read a viking crime story.  That’s about to change in April.  Check out what writer Ivan Brandon had to say about his project:

“VIKING is everything I love about crime fiction filtered through one of the most violent and fascinating periods of human history.  It’s been in the works for so long at this point that I’m overwhelmed to finally get to show it to people. The overwhelmingly positive response to the teaser alone has Nic and I humbled.”

I Die at Midnight for Free

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I’ve talked about what a great artist and writer Kyle Baker is many times.  On many occasions I’ve encouraged you to visit Kyle’s site.  Tonight, I’m going to once again suggest that you stop by.  If you do,  check out Kyle’s graphic novel, I Die at Midnight,

Kyle posted up the entire book which can be read for free, and told me:

I thought this might be a cool experiment, since I had the PDF anyway.  If people respond well, I’ve got about 20 books to follow it up with.  It might be nice to turn my site into a public library. We’ll see if people download it.   The fascinating thing about the web is the access to statistics. I’m often surprised at which posts get the most hits.   We’ll see if this is popular.

How cool is that?  Most folks would post up a preview and then try to get you to buy the book.  Kyle not only posts it up in its entirety, but talks about doing the same with his other books.

Kyle Baker is a great artist and writer — he’s a generous one as well.

Prison Break Canned

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I just read that FOX is cancelling “Prison Break.” I can’t say that I’m surprised or even too disappointed.  That might sound strange considering that “Prison Break” is one of my favorite tv shows.  (Stephen King said the same thing not too long ago in an issue of Entertainment Weekly.)  I’ve followed the show without fail from episode one, season one.  It’s still one of the first shows I’ll turn to when firing up the ole dvr.

So why am I not too disappointed that the show is coming to an end?  Well, I think that it’s pretty much run it’s course.  Truth be told, I wasn’t too sure that they’d be able to pull off a second season after breaking out of prison.  But they did.  The characters were interesting enough and the story moved fast enough that the twists and turns were a blast.  The third and fourth seasons have been more of the same… but lately the show seems to be heading to a conclusion.  And I have no problem with that.  In fact, I’ll be there watching until the very end.